The acceleration of time is real and something I cannot overcome! More than a month has passed since I last wrote and there just has not been TIME to sit down and write. I am sorry for the long absence, but I hear from many others who are experiencing the same whirlwind right now.
On this quiet Sabbath I finally have time to write about the New Wineskins Conference I experienced last month in North Carolina. Two friends from my life 20 years ago in the Anglican Church had reached out to me to invite me to attend. Neither knew the other had written me...so I perceived it as two witnesses from the Lord and knew I needed to pay attention! First, it was amazing to me to think about going to this Global Missions Conference. My 12 years of traveling the globe as a Messenger of the Gospel of Jesus Christ has come to a quiet, gentle end as my husband John has reached the place where such travel would be too difficult. Second, the journey into the Hebrew Roots of our Christian faith took me away from the Anglican Church and into 15 years of study and worship in mostly Messianic congregations. So, I spent an intense time of prayer on my face, inquiring of the LORD to know if it truly was HIM asking me to go to this Anglican conference of global missions. I had a powerful experience in the Holy Spirit as He answered my prayer and said, "Yes. I am asking you to go. You do not know your future, but I do. And I will make connections and preparations there for your future. Go in obedience to Me."
The word was clear. I made my flight arrangements, booked my lodging, and packed my suitcase. From Sept. 26-29 I found myself on a beautiful North Carolina mountaintop, surrounded by God's people from all over the world! My mind and heart were catapulted back into the glorious years of meeting and loving people and spreading the Good News in Africa and Russia, South America and Eastern Europe, and the islands of the sea! It was glorious to worship with all nations, tribes and tongues, and it was a powerful, electric re-charge of my spiritual battery to listen to the amazing stories of these men and women who are sharing Jesus in the most dangerous places on earth.
Still, I lay awake that first night in North Carolina wondering why I was there. It is not a time in my life right now when I can go serve in the mission field. They told us there are 1.6 billion people in the world right now who have never heard of Jesus/Yeshua, and my heart was greatly stirred to GO!
The next morning I awoke very early to go up to the beautiful little chapel at the top of the mountain where I would help lead worship at the 7:00 am service. "At least this is something I can contribute here, Lord," I thought. "I can lead the people into Your Presence in worship." But when the Priest arrived to lead the service, he gently told me, "You don't need to do anything this morning, I'm just going to 'wing it.'" So I took a seat on the back row of pews and in the stillness of the morning, I worshiped God. After the service was over and the people had left, I went up to the keyboard and in the stillness I worshiped an Audience of One. My voice soared as the Spirit fell.
I left the chapel and was walking down the steep path under the clear, blue sky, a gentle breeze brushing my face, and I heard the Voice of the Spirit say, "What did you go out to see? A reed blowing in the wind? What did you go out to see?" I stopped and then answered Him.
"Yes, Father, that's been MY question. Why did I come here? Why did You send me?"
The Voice replied, "Do you remember what I told you when you were down on your face in the Spirit?"
"Yes, Lord, You told me you wanted to make connections and preparations for my future."
"Right! And who are you to connect with? Who did you go out to see?" Suddenly it was completely clear. Crystal clear! I exclaimed in tears, "You Abba! YOU wanted to re-connect with me! You had to bring me this far away from home to disconnect me from all my distractions - that's why John was not supposed to come. And that's why You sent me to a place where I hardly knew a soul! I would be distracted if I had brought husband or friends. You wanted to finally get me alone so YOU could re-connect with me in intimacy. I have been so dry and thirsty for Your touch, Your Voice, and for our love-relationship!"
I understood. These have been tests; a test to see if I would obey and come, a test to see if I'd get up at 5:00 a.m. despite my weariness from long travel, and go up to the chapel, a test to see if I'd worship God even when no one else was there.
I went back to my room and wrote in my journal: "Abba, I passed! I feel like these were important tests of obedience so that You would trust me in the future when things get REALLY hard and I must know Your Voice and obey. I must be connected with YOU. It is the month of Elul, and You are out in the field, Yeshua, my Bridegroom-King, making preparations to come for your Bride!
The whole purpose of that trip was so simple and yet so powerful. However, there WAS much more that God showed me there in North Carolina. I heard the testimonies of many of God's Messengers who are in places like Yemen, Iraq, Iran and Pakistan, risking their lives for the sake of Jesus. And I had an incredible revelation of how God, in His infinite Wisdom, is even now accomplishing the great end-times work of Romans 11, re-gathering and restoring ALL ISRAEL! I will write all this in a second blog so that this one does not get too long! In the meantime, I hope this one has been a blessing and reminder to all of you out there, that the MOST important preparation of these days right now is to re-connect closely with Yeshua/Jesus, and make time in your day to stop and listen. He is making preparations for your future too!
Kelly Ferrari Mills