RECALIBRATION

I have returned from my 4,629 mile road trip, my head still spinning and my ears still hearing the whirring sound of the motor! It was a trip that God ordained for me, and every single one of the days held a blessing, until the blessings in my cup overflowed.
 
It wasn’t until today that I actually looked at the calendar to see how long I was on the road. I was surprised to see that the duration was exactly FORTY DAYS. We all know that is a meaningful number in Scripture, but I had not realized it was a 40-day trip until now! So, why did God have me on the road for 40 days? Whitney Hopler writes, “The Bible’s use of “40 days” is consistent with its use of the number 40 overall, which also signifies the time during which some sort of spiritual challenge takes place – such as the 40 years that the Israelites spent wandering in the desert before reaching the Promised Land. The significance of 40 days in the Bible is that God allows us to go through challenges in order to grow spiritually. The 40-day time period highlights the importance of strengthening our faith by relying on God’s help in challenging circumstances. Also, 40 days highlights God’s patience with us. By using that generous amount of time to symbolize a period of spiritual growth in the Bible, God is sending a message that growing spiritually is a process that takes time to complete.”
 
Yes, I am looking back over my shoulder now and receiving understanding of what this trip was all about. Just before I left, I had read a profound teaching on the four stages of grief. It wasn’t until I got back from my trip that I recalled the name of the third stage: RECALIBRATION. “That’s it!” I exclaimed to myself. “It was my Recalibration Journey!” For 40 days I reconnected with dear friends in Missouri who go all the way back to my first grade in school, a couple in Louisiana who have remained a most treasured part of my life since I cared for his dying mother many years ago in their plantation mansion, precious cousins in Wisconsin whom I’ve not seen for almost 20 years and who honored me with a huge family-reunion picnic, my beloved sister and her husband in Illinois, a ministry partner and friend in Kansas, close friends on their new farm in Nebraska, and a former brother-in-law and his wife in Iowa. As the journey progressed, I sensed that God was recalibrating me by restoring all these beloved relationships to me, and filling in lots of pieces, connecting lots of dots, from years gone by. Long-forgotten memories began to flood my soul and conversations were peppered with a great deal of joy and laughter.
 
I looked up the word ‘recalibration’ in the dictionary and found this definition: “the act of resetting or fine-tuning an instrument.” I love this definition! Am I not God’s instrument, a vessel that He still wants to use for His purposes? Yet, the grief and the loss of my sweet husband, John, set me back for a time and left me in a state of profound exhaustion. The first stage of grief was defined as “DISORIENTATION” and that was certainly what I felt for several months after John passed away. I remember trying to sing and finding that my voice just cracked and struggled, unable to get my breath. I thought that surely my great joy in singing praises to God and leading others in worship was over. And I could not imagine ever again having the energy to drive over 4,000 miles as I often did in my former days of ministry.
 
But…God! He picked me up, helped me draw up the map for my journey, and worked a masterful recalibration of my heart, fine-tuning me for whatever new purpose He has in mind for me. Holy Spirit anointed my voice to sing and lead a congregation in worship in Ozark, Missouri. Ministering to a dear friend who is caregiving for her husband, and imparting to her all the incredible tools I learned for navigating the dementia journey, inspired me with a whole new sense of calling in this area.
 
“The 40-day time period highlights the importance of strengthening our faith by relying on God’s help.” Oh, how my heart rejoices in His help as He strengthened me and filled me with deeper faith, new hope and revived courage. And to each one whom I was blessed to visit and spend time with in these last 40 days, I cannot thank you enough! You have helped me to reach the 4th stage of the Grief Journey, which is – MANIFESTATION! Hallelujah!