Generations of Love

My dear friends,
All the holidays sailed by and I have not been able to focus and write because I've been in bed with pneumonia for the past week or more. 

I had an experience last evening though that hearkened my memory back to a blog I wrote in the year 2018. Some of you who have been reading this blog that long will probably remember this story, but if you'll allow, I'm going to repeat it (below) and then add on at the end the most precious and overwhelming revelation Father showed me last night.

HIS NAME IS JOHN
11/3/2018

The one sin in my life for which I still grieve in anguish, even though I know I have repented and been forgiven, is an abortion I underwent at age 17.  I was born again by the Holy Spirit at age 29 but I still could not speak to anyone of this horrific sin. It was a child, my child, and that is not easy to forget. By the time I was about 40, I had the tremendous blessing of being under a true Shepherd of the Word in those early church years, and at some point I knew I needed to confess this sin to him so that I could be fully forgiven and restored. This godly pastor suggested we should have a small service in remembrance of the baby in order to help me heal.  Then he told me that as part of this service we would need to name the baby. I replied, "That's not necessary. The Spirit revealed to me a long time ago that he was a boy and his name was John."

My full restoration actually came this year. The whole, thrilling revelation of this restoration takes my breath away, and even though it is difficult to be this vulnerable with all of you on this Blog, the Lord convinced me that I must take courage and share this!  My abortion was in the year 1968.  My full restoration has come in the year 2018. It was only this morning that I realized that is a FULL FIFTY YEARS - or JUBILEE! And the meaning of Jubilee itself, as given to us in Scripture, is freedom!  Freedom from all debt, with everything one has lost being fully restored! 

When John was courting me, he had a prophetic dream that he shared with me and I wrote it in my journal. He said while he was sleeping he had the impression that an angel had appeared to him and told him we would have a son and we should name him John.  Sorry to say, I did not learn anything from Sarah and I too laughed!  But like Mary, I planted that dream deep in a chamber of my heart and pondered it over the last seven years of our marriage.  Fifty means jubilee and seven means completion. I hope you are tracking with me!

This year I have really begun to struggle with a second "empty nest." No one ever told me that some grandparents go through another empty nest syndrome when precious grandchildren grow up and they are no longer around.  I had been feeling a lot of sorrow over all this when God stepped in.  

A very close friend of my daughter's was expecting a baby. I reached out to her to ask if she already had her day care plans in place or if I could perhaps help her with caring for the baby, even if just one or two days a week. Her voice was filled with amazement as she replied, "Are you the answer to my prayers?"  She came over a couple of weeks later so we could make plans for me to help care for the baby, so when she settled herself and her big, swollen belly into a chair, I went over to "introduce myself" to the little unborn person in her womb. I laid my hands on her belly and quietly said, "Hi, I'm your new Nana Kelly.  What's your name?"  And his mama said, "His name is John."

FAST-FORWARD NOW TO JANUARY, 2025:
The little one named John, whom the Lord brought into our home is, of course, the "JJ" who became the "grandson of our hearts." He fulfilled that dream my husband John had all those years ago, and we have been so blessed by him! Now it occurs to me that we are in 2025, which makes it almost seven years (again) until the time of my husband John's passing.  People who knew John well always speak about his GREAT LOVE FOR CHILDREN.  It was so obvious everywhere we went! If there were children in the room, John would be down on the floor throwing a ball or moving a train engine along the track, or throwing a baby up in the air for giggles and laughter! He just adored the little ones. And last evening, as I was getting ready for bed, I suddenly had this incredibly strong impression that up in Heaven, Jesus was even in that moment introducing John to my wee John who had been aborted; and then to my precious, tiny daughter Dena, who had died at two weeks.  In my imagination I could see John scooping both of these, my children in heaven, up into his arms, and filling their hearts with his love -- and mine!  Oh, the tears!  Oh, the unspeakable joy that filled my soul! 

Thank you for looking after and loving my little ones, John, until I get there. And don't worry, I'll be seeing our J.J. tomorrow. He's coming over to hang out with Nana and share some snuggles.
 
A jubilee and two "sevens" have passed and look what God has done! I can't even imagine what it will be like when ALL  MY JOHNS and I are together in the Kingdom! Generations of love in the Family of God!