Even to Your Old Age I Am He

I saw a meme on social media this morning that made me laugh and then made me stop and think about it. I think it was a caricature of the old lady known as "Maxine" and she said:
"Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me! I want people to know why I look this way. I've traveled a long way and SOME OF THE ROADS WEREN'T PAVED!"

This seemed appropriate for me right now as I've just made the decision to stop coloring my hair and let it be white - like my  mother's was. The unpaved roads were often bumpy and rough, sometimes even scary and hazardous. But I'm here - still here! I've parked my Ferrari in a nice little garage and at the Lord's leading I am taking a long Sabbath Rest. Slowly I'm beginning to see dawn breaking through the icy mist and God whispers to me, "You are still My beloved. That never changed. I have always been there, my daughter, over every bumpy road, on every tear-stained day, and through every shattered dream.  I am He,  I am He who will sustain you. I will sustain you and I will rescue you." (Isaiah 46:4)

I sit here and look at the magical, beautiful picture on the wall - John and I waltzing at our anointed wedding. I ponder, "Why did I want that wedding so badly? Why was it such a deep passion of my heart?" I finally, fully realize it now: it was me desiring You, Yeshua, to somehow be for me the dazzling Bridegroom in white. John's eyes, so filled with desire for me, were YOUR eyes. I had two women friends wash and anoint my body the night before the wedding - a traditional act of sanctification, being set apart to my husband. That was fourteen years ago this month; and fourteen years later that God-breathed marriage ended in such a very sad way.  As thrilling and glorious as that wedding was, the road became bumpy and rocky and very, very difficult. But John's ascension to the Father at the sound of the great shofar was glorious and the best part is that You, Yeshua, my Heavenly Bridegroom, are still with me. You made me and you will carry me. You sustain me and You will rescue me. And I believe that You are smiling right now - making Your face to shine on me, making Your eyes to twinkle because You yet have a plan for this weary old girl. I know it because you have spoken to me through your Word: 
 And even to your old age I am He; and even to gray hairs will I carry you! (Isa. 46:4)
The silver haired head is a crown of glory; if it is found in the way of righteousness. (Proverbs 16:31)

I don't wish to turn my odometer back either. I want people to know why I look this way. It is because I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved; but over all of those roads my Heavenly Bridegroom carried me, sustained me, rescued me.  I know He's doing it for you too!